Meet the Five Lazy Friends
In a small village, there lived five close friends: Josh, Steve, Kiran, Jamal, and Raju.
They were famous throughout the village, but not for any achievement worth celebrating. They had never won a competition, started a business, or held a job for more than three days.
In fact, Steve once quit a job at a grocery shop because the owner asked him to stand for six hours.
“I'm a human being, not a traffic signal!” he had complained before walking out.
Kiran had a different problem. He believed every business required an investment, and since he had no money to invest, he had decided that becoming rich was impossible.
Jamal was full of ideas, but every idea came with so many questions that nobody had the patience to follow through.
Raju, meanwhile, had mastered the art of sleeping anywhere. Once, he fell asleep while standing in a queue at a village festival. When the queue moved forward, he remained in the same place, dreaming peacefully while everyone walked away.
And then there was Josh.
Josh was the leader of the group, although nobody had officially appointed him. He had simply started giving orders one day, and the others were too lazy to argue.
Josh possessed two extraordinary qualities: unlimited confidence and absolutely no practical experience.
He firmly believed that he was born to become rich.
Unfortunately, he expected the money to arrive without requiring him to do anything.
Every morning, the five friends gathered beneath an enormous banyan tree near the village tea stall. They discussed their future with the seriousness of business tycoons, despite having no business, no income, and, occasionally, no money to pay for their tea.
One Monday morning, Josh arrived at the tree looking unusually serious.
Steve was lying on the wooden bench with a towel covering his face. Kiran was counting the coins in his pocket. Jamal was reading yesterday's newspaper, and Raju was attempting to balance a biscuit on his forehead while keeping his eyes closed.
Josh stopped in front of them.
“Friends, I have terrible news.”
Steve lifted the towel slightly.
“Has the tea shop closed?”
“No.”
“Then why are you disturbing us?”
Josh kicked the bench.
“Get up! This is an emergency!”
Steve sat up reluctantly and examined Josh's face.
“Did you get married?”
“What?”
“You look like a man whose freedom has ended.”
“Steve, I'm warning you!”
“All right, all right.” Steve folded his towel and sat properly. “Tell us the problem. But make it quick. I haven't finished my morning sleep.”
Josh looked at the four of them with genuine disappointment.
“Look at us. We're getting older, but our lives aren't moving forward. Everyone in this village is earning money. The farmer earns money. The shopkeeper earns money. Even that boy who sells peanuts earns money.”
Kiran nodded thoughtfully.
“That boy is clever. He gives fewer peanuts than he promises.”
“That's not the point!” Josh shouted.
“Then why are you talking about peanuts?” Kiran asked innocently.
Jamal lowered his newspaper.
“Josh, get to the main issue. We have been sitting here for forty minutes, and I haven't even had breakfast.”
Josh took a deep breath.
“We need money.”
The other four looked at one another.
For a moment, the banyan tree was unusually quiet.
Then Raju raised his hand.
“I have a suggestion.”
Josh smiled hopefully.
“Finally! Tell me.”
“Can you lend me twenty rupees?”
Josh's smile disappeared.
“Why?”
“To buy breakfast.”
“Why don't you earn the money yourself?”
Raju looked genuinely confused.
“If I knew how to earn money, why would I ask you?”
Steve burst out laughing and nearly fell off the bench.
“Raju, you're a genius! You have explained our entire financial situation in one sentence.”
Josh pressed his fingers against his forehead.
“I'm surrounded by idiots.”
“Technically,” Jamal said, “you're standing among four people, so your statement is mathematically correct.”
Josh glared at him.
Jamal returned to his newspaper.
“Just helping.”
Josh began pacing beneath the tree. He had spent the previous night thinking about their future, and by the time he went to sleep, he had reached a conclusion that he considered brilliant.
He stopped pacing and lowered his voice.
“Friends, what if we could make a lot of money without working every day?”
Steve's eyes lit up.
“Is someone giving away money?”
“No.”
“Is there a government scheme?”
“No.”
“Then why are you making it sound interesting?”
Josh leaned closer.
“What if we became thieves?”
For three seconds, nobody moved.
Even Raju's biscuit fell off his forehead.
Kiran slowly put his coins back into his pocket.
“Josh, are you feeling all right?”
“Perfectly fine.”
“Did you hit your head yesterday?”
“No!”
“Then why are you suggesting something like this?”
Josh folded his arms.
“Think about it. Rich people have money. Thieves take money. We need money. Therefore—”
“Therefore, we should become rich people?” Steve interrupted.
Josh stared at him.
“No! We become thieves!”
Steve nodded slowly.
“Oh. Your explanation was confusing.”
Jamal folded his newspaper and leaned forward.
“Wait a minute. Before we make any decision, I have some questions.”
Josh sighed. “Of course you do.”
“First, have you ever stolen anything?”
Josh straightened his back.
“Of course.”
Everyone looked impressed.
“What did you steal?” Kiran asked.
“A mango.”
“One mango?” Steve asked.
“Three,” Josh corrected.
“From whom?”
“My father.”
Jamal looked at the others.
“Gentlemen, we are in the presence of an experienced criminal.”
Raju clapped slowly.
“Three mangoes! How many years were you in prison?”
Josh threw his hands into the air.
“I was twelve years old!”
“And what happened?” Kiran asked.
Josh looked away.
“My father chased me around the house with a slipper.”
Steve leaned forward with a serious expression.
“Did you escape?”
“Obviously!”
“Excellent. We need that skill.”
Josh looked at him in disbelief.
“Steve, I escaped because I was faster than my father!”
Steve nodded thoughtfully.
“Then our first lesson should be choosing fathers who cannot run fast.”
Jamal laughed so hard that he dropped his newspaper.
Even Josh struggled to maintain his serious expression.
For a moment, he almost abandoned the idea. Then he remembered the shopkeeper who had refused to give him tea on credit the previous evening.
His pride returned immediately.
“Enough joking! We may not have experience, but we can learn. Every profession requires training. Doctors study medicine. Engineers study engineering. So we will study theft.”
Kiran scratched his chin.
“Where will we study it?”
Josh paused.
He had not considered that question.
“Somewhere private.”
“Like a library?” Raju suggested.
“Why would thieves go to a library?” Steve asked.
“To steal books,” Raju replied.
Jamal shook his head.
“Terrible idea. Books are heavy, and we don't like reading.”
Josh clapped his hands.
“Listen! We will give ourselves seven days of training. One entire week. By the end of it, we will be ready to begin our new profession.”
Steve raised his hand.
“Will there be exams?”
“Yes.”
“Attendance?”
“Yes.”
“Homework?”
Josh hesitated.
“Possibly.”
Steve stood up.
“I withdraw my application.”
Josh grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back onto the bench.
“Sit down! There will be no homework.”
Steve settled comfortably.
“Good. Continue.”
Josh took a piece of chalk from his pocket and wrote on the ground beneath the tree:
THE FOOLISH THIEF CREW — TRAINING PROGRAMME
Below it, he wrote:
DAY ONE: DISCIPLINE.
The others stared at the words.
Raju yawned.
“Can we begin tomorrow? Today is already half over.”
“It's only ten in the morning!” Josh shouted.
“Exactly,” Raju replied. “We have already lost two hours of sleep.”
Josh decided to ignore him.
“From tomorrow, everyone must arrive here at six in the morning. No excuses. We will train our minds, improve our fitness, and learn to work together.”
Jamal raised his hand.
“Question.”
“What now?”
“If we are training to become thieves, why do we need to improve our fitness? Can't we steal something from someone who is already sitting down?”
Josh opened his mouth.
Then he closed it.
He had absolutely no answer.
Steve patted Josh sympathetically on the shoulder.
“Don't worry, boss. Every great leader faces challenges.”
“Thank you, Steve.”
“You've been our leader for twenty minutes, and we've already discovered that your plan has several weaknesses.”
Josh slapped Steve's hand away.
“Tomorrow morning! Six o'clock sharp!”
The five friends finally left the tea stall, each carrying his own interpretation of the new mission.
Josh went home and spent the afternoon planning the most ambitious training programme in village history.
Steve went home and set three alarms, all scheduled for nine in the morning.
Kiran began calculating how much money they could earn if everything went perfectly.
Jamal searched for books about famous criminals, then gave up when he discovered that reading required concentration.
Raju went straight to bed.
That night, Josh lay awake imagining his future.
He pictured a large house, an expensive car, and a wardrobe filled with clothes he would never have to iron himself.
He smiled into the darkness.
“Seven days,” he whispered. “Just seven days, and everything will change.”
Meanwhile, in the next house, Steve's alarm rang.
He opened one eye, switched it off, and muttered, “Training starts tomorrow.”
Then he rolled over and went back to sleep.
The first training day had not even begun, and the Foolish Thief Crew was already in trouble.
What is their plan? What these five foolish thief going to do?